茹るような鉄路と、降りない雨の星

 

7月21日、火曜日。晴れ。今日は病院へと向かう「プチ旅」の日だ。朝のカメラ撮影は休みにしたが、いつも通り午前4時前には目を覚まし、朝のルーティーンをこなした。最後は血圧の測定。上は138、下は88、心拍数は79だった。この数値が良い兆しなのかどうか、老境に入った自らの身体に静かに問いかけてみる。

午前7時30分に家を出てバス停へと向かい、長い一日の幕が開く。最近のJRはSuica一枚で事足りるうえに、空席状況まで教えてくれるのだからすっかり便利になったものだ。Suicaでグリーン券を求め、ゆったりと腰を下ろせる青梅線の列車に乗り込んだ。立川駅を過ぎるころには、空席は少しずつ埋まっていく。この列車は新宿に至るまで、中央線の各駅で多くの乗客を飲み込んでいくのだが、車内に子供たちの姿はまばらだった。今日から夏休みなのだろうか、人の混み具合がいつもとはどこか違って感じられた。誰もが黙りこくる静かな車内には、声にならない孤独や、ささやかな希望の「星」が瞬いているような気がする。

予定通りに病院に到着し、10時からの予約には余裕で間に合った。来月に控えた前立腺癌の予防検査に備え、今日中に結果が出るよう少なめの採血を済ませる。外科の待合室は相変わらず混雑していたが、今日はさらに「医師が救急対応中」との張り紙が出ていた。診察が遅れることを覚悟し、来月受診する予定の血管外科と消化器外科の場所をあらかじめ確認して回る。しかし意外にも順番は早く巡ってきて、11時過ぎには会計を含めてすべての用事が片付いた。ちなみに外科の定期健診は、次回は10月にMRIと問診が予定されている。

帰路は少々計算違いが起きた。新宿駅か中野駅を経由して帰ろうとしたもののバスがやって来ず、結局いつものバスでJRの駅へ出て青梅線の快速に乗ったのだ。窓の外をぼんやりと眺めているとアナウンスが流れ、慌てて途中の駅で特別快速に乗り換える羽目になった。これでギリギリ次のバスに間に合うと胸をなでおろしたのも束の間、電車が徐行し始め、遅延が生じた。1分、2分、3分と遅れはじわじわと延び、立川駅に着くころにはついに「4分遅れ」の案内が響く。もうあのバスには間に合わないと潔く諦め、次の便でゆっくりと帰路につくことにした。

ひたすらに暑く、長い病院への「プチ旅」が終わった。列車の窓から見上げた西の空は暗く沈み、今にも雨粒が落ちてきそうだったというのに、結局、激しい夕立がこの地を濡らすことはなかった。一雨降ってくれれば、少しは涼しく眠りにつけるだろうに。そんな叶わぬ願いを胸の奥にしまい込みながら、私は今日もまた、静かに夜を迎えている。

The Boiling Railway and the Star of Unfallen Rain

July 21st, Tuesday. Sunny. Today is a day for a "petit trip" to the hospital. Although I skipped my morning photography, I woke up before 4 AM as usual and went through my morning routine. The final step was measuring my blood pressure: the top was 138, the bottom 88, and my heart rate was 79. I quietly ask my aging body whether these numbers indicate a good trend.

Leaving the house at 7:30 AM for the bus stop, the curtain rises on a long day. JR has become so convenient lately, allowing everything to be completed with a Suica card, even showing the seat availability. I bought a Green Car ticket with my Suica and boarded an Ome Line train where I could sit comfortably. The empty seats gradually decreased after passing Tachikawa Station. This train usually picks up many passengers at every station on the Chuo Line Local service until Shinjuku, yet there were few children in the carriage. Perhaps summer vacation started today, as the level of congestion felt different from usual. In the quiet carriage where everyone remains silent, it feels as if "stars" of unspoken solitude and small hopes are twinkling.

I arrived at the hospital on schedule, making it in plenty of time for my 10 AM appointment. I had a small amount of blood drawn so the results would be available today, in preparation for next month's prostate cancer preventive checkup. The surgery clinic is always crowded, but today there was an additional notice saying the doctor was handling an emergency. Prepared for a delayed consultation, I used the time to scout out the vascular and digestive surgery departments I am scheduled to visit next month. Surprisingly, my turn came quickly, and everything, including the payment, was finished shortly after 11 AM. For the record, my next surgical checkup is scheduled for October, involving an MRI and a medical interview.

The journey home didn't quite go as planned. I tried to return via Shinjuku or Nakano stations, but the bus didn't come, so I took my usual bus to the JR station and boarded an Ome Line Rapid train. As I was gazing out the window, an announcement prompted me to hurriedly switch to a Special Rapid train at an intermediate station. My joy at barely making the bus connection was short-lived, as the train began to slow down due to a delay. The delay grew from one minute to two, then three, eventually reaching four minutes by the time we arrived at Tachikawa Station. Resigning myself to the fact that I wouldn't make the bus, I gave up and decided to take the next one leisurely.

The hot and long "petit trip" to the hospital was finally over. The western sky I saw from the train looked dark, as if it were about to rain at any moment, but the evening downpour never came. If only it had rained, I could have slept a little cooler. Harboring such an unfulfilled wish, I quietly welcome the night today.